THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize