He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
