I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
