You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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