the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
