Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
