Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
