on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
