i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
