More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
