I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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