Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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