I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
