I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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