who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will be naked everywhere
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
