I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
