I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
