Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do vagina's smell?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How external is "for external use only"?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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