I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
