I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
