I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
