First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
