Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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