Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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