Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
