i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
