we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
