so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
