omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize