zippers are such a cool invention
sarcasm needs its own font
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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