Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
