I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
