I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
