i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
