ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He has the fingertips of a God
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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