I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
