was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
