I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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