This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
