i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
