dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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