Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this just has baby written all over it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize