she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
