friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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