Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
