The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
