no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize