remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
