I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
