When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
