the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
