my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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