is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize