I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
