3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
