I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
