But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
