your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
