please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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