We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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