morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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