if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Bring me that man meat
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
