Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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