I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
