Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
