Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
