But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
