Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
do herpes really smell.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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