Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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